Thursday, March 3, 2016


Years ago at an Obagi marketing seminar in Salt Lake City, I listened to a presenter tell a story about a couple people. She told the story and then made us rank each character starting with #1 in the order that we liked them. A couple volunteers told their ranking and why. After the ranking process, we found out that we were only half way through the story. SHOCKER! By the end of the actual story, we learned the WHOLE story. It totally changed my opinion (and everyone else's opinion) of which characters they liked more and so on.

Life is so much like this. So many times we hear a story and make a judgement on the character of the person. It's natural to do that and all of us do. It's just interesting that as we receive more information how we might think different or even change our opinion.

A couple years ago, I tried to keep a very open mind. Where I would use to say, "I have no idea why she does that" etc., I started to think up reasons why she did do that. Maybe she had a bad day, maybe it didn't occur to her to do it different, maybe she didn't have enough money, etc. It has changed a lot of how I think and how I respond to others.

Today, as I was talking to a good friend, she mentioned our first interaction. It wasn't even on my radar because my experience was different and not cataloged like hers. Our first interaction took place around 7 years ago when doing a co-op preschool. We both had preschoolers at that time, and I arranged the moms in the neighborhood that wanted to participate to do so. I sent out a reminder during the rainy time of year to set a towel out by the front door for the kids to place their wet shoes on, etc. This friend also told me what she thought of my email... that I didn't know her well at all. (Insert laugh out loud here.) A towel may have or may not have been placed at the front door. I'm sure that others eye rolled as well. She goes on to tell me that I am such a loyal friend and one of her most favorite people now. All because she got to know me a little better.

Eye opener for me because I had no idea that this was her first perception of me. For me, that was not reality and not truth. But it was for her. Hmmmm. More internal dialog.

This last year for me has been one of the hardest. I know that I do not think like 95% of the people out there. Many times we associate and affiliate with those who are like us. But isn't it great if we hear the WHOLE story and refrain from making judgments right away. I feel like that's what has happened for me. But I'm going to continue trying to be positive and do what I do best.

So, here's my whole story. I am a loyal, lifelong, fight to the death type of friend. I look for ways to help and serve others on a daily basis. I also am a perfectionist, which means I want to do things a certain way and cross items off my list regularly. (Yes, I make lists and follow them.) I know I am not perfect, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be right. I work hard every single day at my job; nothing is half way. I don't think like 95% of the people out there. I may say things right to the point, bluntly, and lacking tact, but I really don't mean to hurt feelings, tell you to do things a certain way, or don't believe what you are saying is truth. I hope one day that you get to know me well enough to smile and say in a loving way, "That's Zoey and I wouldn't change her for the world!" And for all those that you deal with each day, take a moment to try and understand the WHOLE story.

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