Tuesday, December 31, 2013

FACEBOOK FUNNIES AND QUOTES 2013

No pictures, but definitely worth the read if you have 5 minutes! Enjoy!!!


January - 
Brandon tells me today that when asked about other alias' he goes by, he said "Snuggle Pumpkin." I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes!!!

Kate said, "Get OFF the phone!!!"

This morning while getting K's hair done, she says, "I look like a Kate bobblehead!" She was not pleased.

Just showed up to volunteer. The kids were reading the list they made for the items they would bring camping. Dawson started to tell his list to the class: "Campfire, marshmallows, hammock." (Long pause.) To his teacher, "You do know what a hammock is, right?"

After putting Kate in the bathtub, we blew kisses. A minute later, I heard her yelling, "Mom, get back in here!" I went in and she said, "You forgot the air hug!" It was so funny!

February - 
Kate at church today, while I held her on my lap, "I love to spend my life in mommy's arms!"

2 funnies from today. This morning, Kate came with me for 10 minutes to work. I logged in and realized that my password expired. I mentioned to my co-worker that it had expired and that I needed a new one. Kate said, "Why don't you use __________" which happens to be a common password in our house. Such a clever girl. Story #2. I was asked to babysit an adorable baby for a night and when her mom called to cancel, Brandon picked up the phone. He graciously took a message and when he hung up, I asked what her mom needed. He said, "You don't have to watch torilla this week." Still am laughing about it, because as far as I know, that is not her nickname!!!

Tonight we had to create an email account for Faith for something and we were discussing the address that Brandon had created. In the middle of a heated conversation, Dawson pipes in and says, "Is that a form of segregation? If so, I'm against that!" After a bout of laughter, we went on to continue to discuss and we started talking about how the email account and segregation weren't even related. He said, "HELLO people! It's called Martin Luther King Jr!" I almost started crying; it was that funny!

Faith, was telling us everything she knows. She repeated the Young Women's Theme and then said, "And I even the first two lines of the national anthem." Grandma says, "Are you serious????" (Like she should know the whole thing.) F says, "The Fire Nation National Anthem!" Which, for everyone's information, is the Avatar, the last air bender, "Not the blue people!!!"

Dawson tonight at FHE, "Can I get a new heating pad? Because every time I heat mine up, it smells like boiling cabbage."

March - 
Dawson tonight, "I barely understand the female mind!"

April - 
Kate whispered to Dawson right now, "Dawson, we have bad news! The spray cheese is all gone!" Good thing we only have 1/2 hour left of conference!

Brandon made a fantastic breakfast for Dawson this morning because it is testing (ISATS). D said, "It's like breakfast masterpiece!" So cute! Good luck to all our Panthers!

I just told Brandon that the quickest way for us to get out of debt would be for one of us to die. He said, "Are you volunteering?" LOL!!!

Yesterday I was looking through Kate's backpack and noticed a pair of scissors in her lunchbox. When I asked her about it, she said she had it in case she can't get her Cheetos opened. Smart girl! I would never thought of doing that as a kindergartener!

May - 
Yesterday, Dawson and Kate were eating at the breakfast at the table. I asked Dawson if he was glad to get a hair cut. This sparked a very heated discussion. Kate said, "I think that you should do a 'peacock.'" (She moved her hands from each side of her head going up to the middle.) Dawson said, "I like flat hair." And back and forth. Kate insisted that he needed a 'peacock' like the boys in her class. SO funny to hear them discuss the way that Dawson should wear his hair! ('Peacock' meaning 'faux hawk' to clarify.)

While we were cleaning downstairs, Faith pulled out her kindergarten scrapbook. Kate (6 yrs) and I were looking through the pictures and she said, "They grow up so fast!"

June - 
So Kate (6 years) and I are having a discussion about starting speech therapy this week for the summer. She kept telling me that she was not going to go and then said, "It's my life mom!" She's going to give me a run for my money!

Out of the mouths of babes: crying and carrying on about not being able to spend time with me and wanting to go out to Kiwi Loco tonight... when all of a sudden, Kate sees a pair of shoes in the sponsored section of Facebook and says, "Oh! These are CUTE shoes!" Funny 6 year old girl!

July -
I just found out that Kate has been 'oiling' her friends! Hehe! We love doTERRA!

Dawson (9) this morning as we are walking into IHOP. "This should be called the International House of Breakfast!" All the adults immediately started calling it IHOB. Towards the end of breakfast, I gave D a piece of my french toast that had maple syrup on it. "Did you put Butter Puchanan on your pancakes?" It was so funny we couldn't stop laughing! Love you Dawson!

I just noticed that Kate (6) has a lot of blonde hair on her legs and told her so. Her response, "You really need to teach me how to shave!"

Dawson gave me his 'bucket list' tonight! 
#1 - Go to Hawaii
#2 - Ride his bike from Idaho to Utah
#3 - Gliding down a cliff because it's pretty popular in Brazil

August - 
Want to know how much I dislike spiders? Yep, I'm making my 12 year old kill it for me!!!

September - 
I was asking Kate about a rule at school. She said, "I don't know. Why don't you ask Mr. Watson, 'cause he bought the school!!!" No, Kate. The principal does not 'own' the school!

Oh man. Kate is REALLY tired. Here's another funny that just happened. "Mommy, you know when you tickle me? I don't like it very much because it feels like a snake is biting my body."

Dawson (10 yrs) just stated that he wanted to get some MC Hammer pants... Thinking about letting him for Halloween, but worried that my individualist will decide to wear them after the holiday!

Dawson on his way out the door, "If I wasn't a Mormon, I would have said something totally inappropriate!" AND "It's a good thing we are Mormon. We would be totally messed up!" He cracked me up pretty good this morning!

Chubbuck panther moms will appreciate this one. I told Dawson and Kate that for panther day, they needed to wear red this time. Dawson says, "I don't remember getting involved in a bet!" And after explaining that our PTA lost to their PTA he says, "Seriously! They need to ask us before they involve us in their bets!"

October - 
Night before general conference, Kate says, "I'm excited over the top! I don't think I'm even going to be able to sleep tonight!"

Kate is learning social cues. "My friends feelings are hurt when I tell the truth. So that's why I never tell the truth!"

November - 
I told Dawson to get Brandon He told Dad that I needed him. Brandon said to tell me to hold on to my panties. Dawson then said, "I'm not an owl Dad!" (My kids are Harry Potter fans and the owls deliver messages for those of you who didn't get it.)

On the way to the dentist. Dawson and Kate are going at it. Kate, "I never lie to Mom! I've lied a couple times to Dad but we've gone over it so I don't lie anymore." Dawson arguing that she is a liar and she stole 5 bucks over the summer. Stop the argument. 30 seconds later, Kate starts up with Dawson that she loves him but he isn't nice to her. Less than 10 minute car ride. I love my children!

Dawson this morning after learning about the cold weather, "I think Mother Nature is angry!" I have to agree and wish that it was just a little warmer!!!

The funniest part of saying what we were thankful for today... Brought to you by 10 year old Dawson. "I am thankful for fancy people!" (So that someone can be an example of doing fancy things, like drinking out of fancy wine glasses.)

December -
Kate this morning while Brandon and I were hugging, "Please don't do the smoochies! Please don't do the smoochies!" I loved it!

So tired and Kate says, "But Mom. Santa doesn't mind if the kids sleep with their parents, does he?" Brandon and I are both laughing. Here's to hoping that the excitement wears off quickly so that Santa can get to work soon!!


Quotes for the year:
"When we understand who we really are, we no longer have to be told what to do."

"Our family is about remembering what matters, letting go of what doesn't, laughing, loving, and knowing life is good because we have each other."

"When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always silent."

"Be selective in your battles; sometimes peace is better than being right."

"Marriage does not guarantee that you will be together forever, it's only a piece of paper.  It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship and faith in your relationship to make it last."

"Always believe something wonderful is going to happen. Even with all the ups and downs, never take a day for granted. Smile, cherish the little things, and don't forget to hug the ones you love!"

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice that thorn bushes have roses!"  Abraham Lincoln

"Marriage is like a house.  When a lightbulb burns out, you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb."

"Don't just show up ... Show up with a smile, and a willingness to help others smile too."

"Enjoy the little things in life... For one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things." Kurt Vonnegut



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